Ok.. I am still alive. Its just that all this time I was thinking of being a great writer and never wrote more than a page. The best thing I can write about is my life and believe me, if I write the whole thing, Ekta Kapoor is going to grab the rights. But then how can I do it when my life is connected to the lives of so many others who wouldn't want to lose their privacy. May be I will write something down and keep it hidden and it can be published after my time.
Other than that I can't bring myself to write in malayalam. But I want to write in English, I am very particular about the theme and surroundings and I want them to be in harmony with my language. So I think my forte should be non-fiction. Thats what I did all this time. I came to a decision that I am going to write something that will make a difference in this world.
But all this is possible if and only if I get to think straight, without any major distractions. Now a days my major distraction is the fact that I am still not a mother. And the only person who will understand my explanation is my mother, who will never try to justify her daughter in front of others in matters that are trivial. Sometimes I am forced to believe that the main aim of any human being, both male and female is to bring children onto earth, and give everything to them.... I don't think like that. But I do want kids.. I would love to have more than one. But I am not desperate and I don't want others telling me when to have my baby. If it wasn't for my PC Ovaries I would have had kids by now.
I don't know how people fix their priorities. Because almost always it goes wrong, because one persons priorities seldom match with another's and human beings are social animals, so always there is a possibility for priorities to clash.
If I go on writing like this, it will be never ending. But I have to make kadala curry and wheat puttu. So gotta go.. See you guys some other time.
