Crazy ME????

I am always irritated about something or the other. I know its not because of the other people around me, its because of my wish to be left alone at all times. I remember distinctly that in my childhood i did show some traits of being an introvert. and its all coming back to me now. i feel myself being drawn into a shell. My mind tends to shrink from the outside world and its strange customs to a completely different world that i have created through my readings and thoughts. in that world nothing is moral or immoral. everything is neutral and not judged on the basis of any set standards of morality as is that fact that there is no male or female in my world, everyone is a neuter. all are just human beings who has the capacity to think and talk and move and live.

Usually my train of thoughts start when i am looking outside through a window. now a days no window gives me a sight that i cherish so i look through the window of my heart and see what i want to see and i am happy. there i can see the whole universe fused together into a small dot and my whole life spanning around it. i loath the idea of descriptive and detailed flash backs shown in Indian cinema. because never ever i have had such a re run of my life. everything that i can recall can be put together and it may be a few flashes of memories that you want to change or you don't want to change.

In my world there are relationships but no one is compelled to be related to any one. its just ones own wish to be related that is important. There is no chance for anyone to get hurt if there is not much hope concentrated on a few relationships. and thus goes my world into which i have started to shrink into.

but i don't think any one really understands me or me traversing through the thin line separating sanity and insanity. everyone is well deceived by my window dressing of being an extrovert and an open book. i am happy that i am playing the role of the prudent house wife to the fullest and that too successfully.